For most of us the decision to volunteer was a reasonable excuse for running away, from the life we had back home. No matter if our life at home was easy or challenging, something deep inside us was eager for change and adventure. The big decision to leave is something that makes you overcome the uncertainty of life, even if you’re scared of it. During the time you spend volunteering, no matter how different it is from your “normal life”, it becomes your home. No matter how hard you try, not to get attached to this life and make leaving as easy as possible, it is simply impossible. So, what exactly makes leaving so difficult? It’s the realization that you will never get to experience this again. It’s the routine that you’re so used to which has to change regardless of your wants. It’s the people that you made connections with that are scattered around the globe. After all of this your home might not feel like home after all. The friends, the family, the routine and day to day life which you were used to at some point now might feel foreign. At a point in time it was all yours, and to feel like it’s yours once again, after a long time abroad is very difficult. Daily routine, the feeling of always being surrounded by people, the feeling of constant support and love and the sense of purpose. This is what I am going to miss the most when I go back home. Most of us don’t know what we want to do with our lives, we find purpose in knowing what other people need from us, the help that we can offer. The fear of going back and having to figure your life out by yourself all over again, to make big decisions about your studies or career and to realize that this time you spent volunteering was the golden age of freedom and purpose. Most of us put away these feelings for as long as possible, making the last two weeks the most unbearable emotional rollercoaster. As we start working on our youthpass and hear the stories about the volunteers that will arrive after us, we realize how temporary everything in life is, how difficult it is to realize that for you this time was a once in a lifetime but for your organization you’re just a little part of a big story. I am grateful to say that I am a little part of ALA, even if the next volunteers will never know about my existence. I am happy to see that the story of this amazing life is not ending with me or my fellow volunteers, we are just passing on this opportunity to other people. Regardless of all the pain and uncertainty of going back I am happy to say that the past six months have shaped me as a person and I will forever carry these memories, people, knowledge and experience with me. Mia Kuldzanisvili, 18 years old, Georgian.
0 Comments
The week began with the Arrival. One could say that because we live only 50 min away from Rome, it should be easy to get there. But, of course that day there was a national strike by the transport companies in Italy - Rome included- quite a normal thing. Italians love to strike! Therefore, we arrived in Rome a bit anxious, wondering if we would have to walk an hour to the hotel, in which the on-arrival training is held. Luckily, after going to the information counter of the train station, we found out that indeed, there are trains to the hotel. I just misspelled the train station on the ticket machine and couldn’t find a connection. After finally arriving at the hotel, we got our rooms. I was very nervous due to the fact that I had no idea who my roommate would be, I found out a second before falling asleep. Imagine being on the brink of sleep at 1 am and suddenly your hotel room door opens and you see a total stranger standing in front of your bed. Quite scary, but my roommate was luckily a very lovely girl from Turkey. Meeting nearly 60 strangers all at once, with the same experiences was very overwhelming and made my social battery run out for the first two days. Making new connections meant losing these people again in a few days, because my project will end in a month. This made it kind of impossible to visit all the new friends but the promise that they would visit me made me appreciate all the great people I met here. All the talks with the other volunteers helped me understand that my problems, which seem huge to me, were so little compared to theirs. While they complained about sexual harassment or having no work task in their workspace, my problems revolved around the mold in the bathroom or temporarily having no warm water. Honestly, I wouldn't like to switch my experience with theirs. The workshop about new volunteering opportunities and conflict management gave me new perspectives on my life. It opened my mind about wanting to continue volunteering all my life in many different ways, like monthly projects as well as long-term commitments in my local community. The workshop about handling conflict showed me new ways to approach conflicts with myself and others, it showed me where my faults were in past conflicts. Surprisingly most of the conflicts I have are with myself, which I didn’t really realize before. This new perspective made me realize that I need to work more on myself regarding self-criticism. Oftentimes I just love to make myself feel bad about situations, which are perfectly fine. On-arrival trainings are incredibly helpful for every kind of volunteer because they allow you to build a big network of volunteers all around the world to connect with. The trainings give you the feeling that you’re not alone with the good and “bad” experiences that you have in your volunteering and allow you to exchange these feelings. Pauline Kerzendoerfer, 19 years old, German. |